Allstate

"A Ramen noodle every night." No. She wouldn't survive if she ate one single noodle every night. Unless she ate Big Macs for breakfast. I believe you mean to say a package of noodles every night. No one, not even anorexics, eats 1 single noodle. Ever.

Dish Network

Um if you can explain how increasingly large ten gallon hats and mustaches have anything to do with satellite cable programming I'll give you a cookie!

jolly ranchers

your loud obnoxious commercial drives me insane and makes me hit mute.

I hate your commercials

Keno- Forget that the guy owns a fire-breathing goat. Forget that he had other options such as a rabbit that cries diamonds or a stock market that can predict the stock market. How about the fact that in 1978 he looked older than he does in 2011? If you begin with a flawed premise, I hate your commercial. Furthermore, a cookie that can predict the stock market? How ya figure sports fan? You break the cookie, it says "up and down." The end.

Old Navy- 80s music mostly sucked. It was like disco. The fact that you seem to think changing the lyrics to blouses and athletic t's will make it okay makes me hate your commercials. Speaking of which- if a random super fan shows up to your house and your son says he must be okay because he brought pizza, you have failed as a parent and need to learn the term "stranger danger."